The Art of Subtle Flirting (Learn how to flirt)

Flirting is an art which not many girls, even the outgoing ones have successfully mastered. Moreover so if you happen to be shy. The fear of being turned down by a guy is not something every girl can handle. After all, the dreaded feeling of rejection only serves to diminish ones' confidence.

So what happens if you have the hots for a particular guy and you want him to know you are indeed interested?  How can you drop him subtle hints, without being too obvious of wanting to throw yourself at his doorstep and scaring him away? The answer for this is by 'flirting'...

Flirting tip 1: First, get a wing-friend

It is a stressful situation for a girl to directly approach the guy she happens to have a crush on so to make things easier, go out in a group at the initial stage and grab a wing-friend along be it male or a female. So what exactly is the role of a wing-friend? A wing-friend is good friend that will help you send the right signals to attract your ideal guy to you whenever an opportunity crops up. He or she will tell him positive stories about your background and personality and at the same time casually find out what he thinks of you. Also, in case you are caught in a situation where you get tongue-tied around the guy you are interested in, your wing-friend will come to your rescue to help you to 'break-the-ice'.

The rule of thumb for a having a girl as a wing-friend is that she must be trustworthy enough not to whisk the guy whom you like away from you, more so if she is still single. So choose your wing-girl friend very carefully. One good tip is to get a wing-girl friend who will not stand out more than you do (from looks, dressing or even personality) in the initial stage. Ask your wing-girl to make it clear to him right from the start that she is either not available or totally not interested in him at all.

If your wing-friend happens to be a guy, make sure your friendship with him is purely on a platonic basis and that he must not have any attractions to you else he may end up sabotaging you instead. Also, you have to make sure the guy whom you are interested in know right from the start that there is nothing going on between your wing-man and you and never will be to avoid any misunderstandings.

Flirting tip 2: Relax and lower your expectations

There is absolutely no way you can put on your best charm when you are simply a nervous wreck around your crush. Before going out on a date with him, do some homework by finding out about his favorite colors, dressing style or preference. Wear your best outfits when you are out on a date with him which you think compliments your looks and body. When you feel comfortable and confident about the way you look, it will help relief some degree of self-consciousness in you.

Before going out of a date with him, google around for general latest topic trends that you can use as subjects for conversations. These trends can consist of movies, music, interesting news either local or international, technology gadgets or even cars. He is a guy after all so unless he is very metro-sexual, avoid girly topics such as fashion or make-up unless you plan to bore him to death. Looking up on his social media profiles such as his Facebook or Twitter, etc. (if you have him in your contacts) will help you get some ideas of his topics of interest.

Flirting is meant to be fun and not something too serious. If you start setting high expectations that you want the guy to be your boyfriend as soon as possible, it will only add more pressure on yourself. Focus your attention and actions with him as a present moment situational basis rather than worrying about the future for both of you. The more you worry the more you will hold yourself back and make things awkward.

Flirting Tip 3: Accidentally Get ‘Physical’

Many things can be revealed just by a simple touch. Guys typically are very sexual creatures and they love the softness in the form of a female touch. If the guy is interested in you, lightly pat or tap on his arm can tell you many things. If you notice his collar around his shirt is out of place, you can help him by adjusting it for him. Even if it is not, you can even pretend that it is and adjust for him since he can't see it anyway unless there is a mirror in front of him. If you are wearing a top or a dress that shows some bits of cleavage, you can accidentally drop something in front of him; bend down to pick the item back up slowly to an angle that can let him take a slight peek. If you are bold enough, you can even taunt him a little about it to make him awkward. An example is you can immediately pretend to use your palm to clasp at your chest, say something like 'Oops' with a naughty smile. This can create some sexual tension between the both of you.

If you are going out for a movie with him at the cinema, and you notice he places his arm on the shared armrest next to yours, you can try to put yours there as well and accidentally nonchalantly brush his arm and leaving it there for a moment or two while at the same time try leaning closer to him. You can even whisper some random things related to the movie you are both watching or make a joke about certain scenes of the movie in his ears. Watch out for his reaction after that. If he mimics your gestures back by leaning slightly towards you or reciprocate the joke, chances are he is comfortable around you. On the other hand, if he flinches uncomfortably or immediately shifts away, then this is clearly a bad sign because he feels awkward around you.

Even if in general men are known to be clueless at times, unless the guy whom you are out on a date with is as dense as a block of wood, chances are they are aware that if a girl finds them revolting, there will be no way any form of body contacts will take place unless it’s a life-a-death situation. Therefore, small touching gestures such as those mentioned above will express a certain degree of affection, and the more you accidentally make them, the more he will realize that you have the hots for him.

Flirting tip 4: Compliment him and Be Witty

Complimenting him is a good way to flirt. You can give him compliments about his clothing, hair, body or even the perfume or cologne which he is using. Men love to be complimented as it helps to boost their ego. However do not get carried away or you will make him squirmish and uncomfortable.  If he compliments you back, be sure to respond back courteously and chivalrously by thanking him.

If he attempts to make a joke, try your best to appreciate it, laugh along with him even if at some point you find some of his jokes a no-brainer. There is nothing more awkward than having him tell you a joke to impress you and then the long silent pause in between.  At the same time, you also have to be careful not exaggerate by laughing at everything he says unless you want to give him the indicators that you are one ditzy girl. If you truly do not understand the gist of the joke, then politely tell him. Laughing at jokes which are not very funny and laughing at jokes which you do not even understand to begin with are two very different things.

Also, do not let him be the only one to tell jokes unless you think of him as a clown. Guys like girls with a good sense of humor coupled with wit. If you do not know how to start a new joke, try to inject in a few relevant lines to add on in between his jokes. At times when the jokes get a bit sexual, try not to be too shy, blush and change the topic. Look him in the eye and challenge him back with some witty remarks so that he knows that apart from appreciating his joke, you are also charismatic which is very sexy. Subtle suggestive sexual puns are best for flirting and if he teases you, you can playfully elbow him lightly and tease him back.

Flirting tip 5: Facial Expressions and Using the Hair

When you are sitting opposite a guy or facing him during the first initial dates, 90% of the time is focused on the both of you looking at each other from the neck and above. Perhaps the other remaining 10% is spent trying to look down from the neck below, him at your boobs, curves and butt and you at chest, stomach and his groin ‘package’.

With this in mind, facial expressions are very important. Learn the skills of flirting by making use of your eyes and lips to your benefit during a conversation. Flash him both flirtatious winks and smiles when the time is right, battering your eyelids and gaze him in the eye seductively. This is the best method to show him the feminine yet cheeky side of you.

Playing with your hair is also another method of flirting as some pheromones are trapped in the hair. If you know how to take advantage of this, you will get the guy smitten with you. Take this opportunity to subtly flaunt it by casually running or brushing through your hair to not only release out some pheromones but also to display some signs of confidence. Be mindful to always maintain your hair well by making sure it is clean, soft, smelling good and dandruff free otherwise this will backfire on you.